Vindobona H3 Masthead for November 2017 to October 2018
Masthead in Previous Year
For those of you wonder what the hell all those people on the Masthead really do, here is a description of what each person is supposed to do. Where there is more than one name mentioned, the first name is responsible for the function and the other stand in when he or she is absent. These responsibilities sometimes change depending on who is holding the post and how much they are prepared to do. The GM reserves the right to create or abolish posts, and co-opt people onto the Masthead during the year in order to keep the Hash going. Remember the Hash has no constitution, except the one tradition - the GM is always right.
Grand Mistress - Christina "Casting Couch" Androsch
Make sure everybody else does their job properly, and be prepared to stand in for any of the others in an emergency. Organize the down-downs at the end of each run, assisted by the Religious Advisor. Organize regular meetings of the Masthead to discuss problems and sort out responsibilities. When things go wrong, gets all the blame, and when things go right, gets none of the credit, just beer on his or her head.
Vice Grand Master - Karl "Marie Tamponette" Siegl
Stand in for the GM when the GM is absent, indisposed or drunk (i.e. most of the time).
GM Retired & Retarded - Norman "The Blessed Saint Stormin'Norman, OVH" Randall & Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier
Equivalent to GM Emeritus in other organizations. It is a benefit for the Hash to have the the GM's knowledge available to the Masthead, thus this post was created at the AGM on 2 November 2014 to keep the ex-GM on the Masthead. For example, it ensures continuity with organization of events which often need to be planned well in advance.
Religious Adviser - Iain "Morehair von Richard Kopf, OVH" Paterson (aka 'XX_RARK') with Arthur Henry "Cardinal Munk, OVH" Munkenbeck III, (aka 'Monasticus Consuasor') as time keeper. Assistant RA - Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski
In co-operation with the GM, the RA (and his supporting cast) conducts the Circle and decides who get the Down-Downs. Keeps an eye out for those who commit Hash Crimes, e.g. shortcutting, not wearing a Hash T-Shirt, talking when the GM or RA is talking, new shoes or car or baby etc.
Hash Pain in the Ass - Bernie "Wayne Fucksky" Leury
The job title says it all!
Hash Lash - Karl "Mind the Gap" Bryk
Finds Hares to set the runs and gets locations from them, so that it can be put in the Haschedule in plenty of time. Responsible for creating the Haschedule and sending an electronic version to the Hash Web Master for putting up on VH3 Web Site.
All Hashers are responsible for volunteering to set runs and coming up with good locations and letting the Hash Lash know.
Hash Cash, Hash Web Master & International Contacts - John "Lord Glo-Balls, OVH" Russell
Ass Hash Cash - Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhumer, Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski and Karl "Mind the Gap" Bryk
Collects the weekly run fee from each runner and marks down their presence on the sheets used to keep statistics. Maintains mailing list and run statistics. Collects any money for special events and pay any bills resulting, reimburse Hash Beer for the cost of the beer and soft drinks provided at each run, reimburse any other expenses incurred by other members of the Masthead, e.g. postage costs, on production of receipts. Keeps the accounts and prepares a written statement for the AGM.
For historical reasons, corresponds with other Hashes and Harrier International and acts as main contact point for visiting Hashers. Also maintains the VH3 Web Site and Yahoo! Groups Mailing List.
Hash Blogger - Karl "Marie Tamponette" Siegl
Responsible for writing something about each run in the Blog and finding others to assist.
Hash Beer Emeritus - Joseph "Bier Herr"
Hash Beer - The Hare
The Hare makes sure that enough cold beer, wine and soft drinks are available at the end of each run, to slake the thirst of the pack. If the Hash Beer fails to organize this, supplies will be obtained from the nearest petrol station at the Hare's own cost.
Please note the change of policy (since the AGM on 7 November 1999) which makes the Hare responsible for making sure enough beer is there.
Hash Haberdasher -Anita Hanjob, responsible for arranging the printing of T-shirts and any other mementos as the Masthead decides, and John "Lord Glo-Balls, OVH" Russell, sets up shop after each run and sells as many T-shirts as possible.
Hash Media Morons - The Moron Brothers Inc: Alex "My Pint of View" Schifter and Michael "Joy Stick" Schifter
Takes photos at runs and special events. Uploads them to the Hash Photo Album. On special request, for a very large fee, will delete the photo from all locations and undertake not to distribute further.
Hash Fun - Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier, Norman "The Blessed Saint Stormin'Norman, OVH" Randall, Bernie "Wayne Fucksky" Leury & Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski
Responsible for organizing TGIF (Thank Goodness it's Friday), SHIT (So Happy it's Thursday), parties and social events - in addition to the regular meetings of the Hash.
Manuel Stiffy & the Broken Penis Orchestra, was Hector Lopez and the Rim Jobs, was Norman Bates' Shower Head, was Cosy Franny and the Tutti Fruttis, was Dick Davis and the Dicktones, was Gary Gay and his Gaylords, was Curious George and the Homophobes, was Lucky Luciano and his Gay Caballeros, was Vienna Queer Boys Choir) - Membership Fluid or full of fluid? - Marie Tamponette and others) in addition, we have the Hash Choir - Lopsided Backside, Nail Me & Root C,
This is a special group of Vienna Hashers who take it upon themselves to lead the singing in the circle at certain times. At other times they seem to be singing against the rest of us! Members include Cardinal Munk, Marie Tamponette, Pimpsqueak, Multiple Entry and Lord Glo-Balls (honorary).
Hash Horn - Ron "Free Willie" Willis and James "Bare Foot" Howlett
Custodian of the Vindobona Horn. Ensures that the Horn is present at every Hash. Blows the horn frequently during the run, especially when the On-On is called, so that no Hashers are lost. In November 2008, "Deo" donated a new horn for this post.
Russian Interlocutor: Tom "Baby Stool" Godfrey
Created at the AGM in November 2017 to encourage interference in the Masthead Elections from Russia.
Sex Mistress - Suzanne "Lucky Me "Kollmann & Robert "Horse Dick" Ter Schiphorst
Responsible to provide "entertainment" at Hash events.
Hash Naming Committee = The GM and the RA (ex-officio), Robert "NoBalls Prize" Duberg, Glenda "Lopsided Backside" Wolstenholme, Ron "Free Willie" Willis, Jim "Septic Yank" Matschi & Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhummer
This committee was set up at the Hash AGM on 7 November 1999 to give some responsibility to a group of Hashers to come up with good names. This should avoid the problem in the past of a Hasher reaching 25 runs without a name.
Hash Dog Naming Committee: Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhummer & Ralph "King Ralph" Weber
This committee was setup at the AGM in November 2017 to ensure all dogs are named.
At the AGM in November 2003, the following new positions were created :-
Hash Pourers - Peter "Mind over Matter (MOM)" Herger, Alex "My Pint of View" Schifter, Glenda "Lopsided Backside" Wolstenholme, & Susanne "Lucky Me" Kollmann
These are very important positions as the holders of these offices have to keep pouring and delivering the beer, so that the RA is never short of a mug of beer to give out as a down-down.
Hash Crush Holder - Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhumer
Crushes cans, eggs and other things against certain unmentionable projections from Ice Queen's body.
Hash Hounds - Circle Jerk, Prize Pisser, Just Villja, Just Billy, Just Lucky and Just Fintan (poor unnamed dogs)
The only members of the Hash who are allowed to behave like animals and get away with it. Required to keep quiet and not bark during the circle.
Hash Hound Sitter - Miriam "Shake Rattle & Roll" Stern
Take care of any dogs on the Hash.
Hash Piefke: Ralph "King Ralph" Weber
This Hasher is required to attempt to bring German efficiency and orderliness (ordentlichkeit) to the Hash (good luck with that!).
Hash Gossip: Birgit "Root C" Loewert
Keep us all informed on who is sleeping with whom
Hash Doctor: Sensei Yumiko "Joy Ride" Kamogawa-Schifter
Take care of fallen Hashers. As we are all getting older, this post will be needed more often.
Hash Schlampe: Margit "Nail Me' Exel
Show us the way on dark nights, such as the Full Moon and
Blue Moon Hashes.
Full Moon Masthead
Full Moon GM - Michael "Joystick" Schifter
Full Moon Vice Mistress - Dagmar "Ïce Queen" Atynski
Responsible for discipline on the Full Moon Hash (yet another oxymoron!).
FFull Moon "RA" - "R" - Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski and "A" - Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhumer
At the Hash AGM on 5 November 2000, it was agreed to set up a sub-chapter of VH3 to organize a Vindobona Full Moon Hash on a regular basis. This Hash would have its own GM and RA, but share all other facilities with VH3 (e.g. Hash Beers, Hash Cash, the Mailing List, Web Site and Bank Account etc.).
The Full Moon GM is responsible for setting the dates, finding Hares and locations, and supplying all details to the VH3 On-On Sec and Webmaster for publication. The Full Moon GM and RA act as GM and RA only on the Vindobona Full Moon Hash and not on the normal VH3 Runs. The new RA will take over at the December 2014 Full Moon, to allow the current RA (Sex-O-Phone) to conduct the circle one more time (in November 2014) before he leaves Vienna.
TThe original GM was Mr. Bob Davolino and the original RA was No Mercy Master.
Blue Moon (or New Moon) Masthead
On 27 November 2003, the first run of the Blue Moon Hash took place starting from the Votiv Kirche in Vienna, Austria. This is just a useful name for any Hash organized outside of the regular schedule and usually with visitors as Hares. The following officers were elected :-
New/Blue Moon GM - Peter "Matter over Mind (MOM)" Herger
New/Blue Moon RA - Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier